Jan 17, 2009

The Most Exciting Piece of Non-News In Yesterday's Newspapers

A brilliant deduction! A stunning insight! Could Singaporeans have possibly figured this out, all by themselves?

Of course not. Let us give thanks for the wonderful leadership of our great wise leaders.

Not forgetting the powerful journalistic standards of the nation's leading newspapers, for delivering such big news to us.

ST Jan 16, 2009
Likely Mas Selamat has fled

ALMOST a year after he escaped from custody, where is terror fugitive Mas Selamat Kastari?

Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng narrowed it to either of two scenarios: one, he is in Singapore and hidden by sympathisers unknown to the authorities, or, two, he has fled the country.

Asked which was the more likely, Mr Wong told The Straits Times: 'It's very hard to say. Both scenarios are plausible. Maybe the second one is more plausible.'
Seriously, if you go to your neighbourhood chicken-rice seller and ask, "Uncle, where do you think Mas Selamat is today?", what do you think his reply would be?

Probably something like this: "Aiyoh, how I know!? You ask me, I ask who? But he's been missing for so long, I think surely by now he run away from Singapore alreadi laaaah!".

In other words, the neighbourhood chicken-rice seller's reply would essentially be the same as Wong Kan Seng. We should be proud! This shows that Singapore's neighbourhood chicken-rice sellers are of ministerial calibre!

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Someone posted this:
___________________________________

Here is my opinion on Mas Salamat:

I think he is either dead or alive.
If he is alive, he is either in Singapore or other countries.
If he is dead, he either died in Singapore or other countries.
If he is alive in Singapore, he is either hiding with the help of someone or hiding on his own.

What is your opinion?

____________________________

http://www.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?t=14987

Mr Wang Says So said...

Ministerial talent! It abounds! You can find it in Sammboy's forums too!

nhyone said...

Could be a ruse to let MAS let down his guard...

Anonymous said...

I had a good laugh when i read the comments yesterday - a good break from all the doom and gloom news as well. I reached a conclusion myself too,"Mas Salamat is in planet Earth". Surely, I am a talent too?

Mercia said...

nhyone: I am sure Mas Selamat's guard is down, possibly because he's either in a different country altogether, or he's fled this region completely. No self-respecting government will heed Singapore's request for extradition, I reckon.

Mr Wang: careful there, you're wandering into libelous territory. We can't have just anyone become a chicken rice seller you know. At least those chaps reliably churn out a consistent number of meals a day at a regular level of quality. I can't say the same for Mr. Wong. Aheheh.

Onlooker said...

And they still haven't found what they are looking for.......

EBNEF said...

When asked about how companies should coped with the current state of economy, the mee pok man answered, "aiyah, just cut or freeze pay lah to cut costs, worse come to worst, just retrench loh.".

So our mee pok man are of the equivalent calibre as the group of tripartite National Wage Council. There are hidden dragons abounding in my neighbourhood!

nhyone said...

To Mercia: I think they will. That's why MAS has not issued a video. Imagine the humiliation to Singapore if he did so. He's not safe once he's tracked down.

redbean said...

i think he is in singapore. or maybe he is not in singapore. or maybe he is in malaysia. if in malayais, maybe johore or any of the nine states.

come to think of it, he may be in indonesia. ah batam quite likely. or maybe bintan.

actually i don't have a clue.

i just aga aga only. let me go to waterloo street and ask.

Anonymous said...

so, now can take down the mas selamat posters or not?

i want to put up my garage sale poster but all the lamps post kenna chope.

Anonymous said...

The chicken rice seller has at least twice the ministerial capability you gave him credit for.

"You ask me, I ask who?"

Sound familiar?

Anonymous said...

Simple question, simple answer lah.

Should ask him how come he still Ministar Home Affairs for so long. How come his post not rotated one.

Anonymous said...

mr. wang, it makes a good laught but i think you are being unfair. just because WKS and the hypothetical chicken-rice seller come to the same conclusion does not necessarily mean that they are of same calibre.

do note that this is a situation of asymmetric information. WKS knows a way lot more than the chicken rice seller. Given that, WKS may have calculated that the best strategy for him (and the gahmen) is to say the same thing as what the man on the street already guessed.

misc said...

While everyone marvels at the local media's flawless logic, let us also remember an immortal quote from a Channel NewsAsia report (http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/333539/1/.html) on the same issue:

"Singapore should not wait for a case like the JI leader's escape to build confidence among the people."

Anonymous said...

Dear Anon on Jan 17, 2009 10:14 AM
quote:
"If he is alive, he is either in Singapore or other countries."
er, if he's alive he cant be in Mars.

anyway, i find it hard to believe Mas is dead and the govt wayang all the show and mobilized the security over some ruse/stratagem/clever trick. Or that the security has caught Mas and shot him dead but still leave the pasted posters in public.

i believe he's somewhere hiding outside SG. Also, i think Mas issue not an imminent threat now. most likely there are many psycho individuals trained overseas wanting to blast the globe. those are harder to defend against since we have no inkling on who they are before they attack....


Orange

Anonymous said...

Perhaps we can pop the question to Mr Lee:
"How's our CPF investments doing in Citibank acquisition?"

"You ask me, I ask who?"

"What to do? It happens."

Anonymous said...

This goes to prove the effectiveness of our education system; everyone has ministeral calibre. I reckon that ministers from our neighbouring countries could not deduce such an insight!

Anonymous said...

Why is Wong Kan Seng still holding the ministerial post? As a local university student, it upsets me to see top-level government officials being spared from all responsibilities when something goes wrong but always given the "glory" for all other "achievements". Oh by the way, I think I saw Wong selling chicken rice at the hawker centre near my house at AMK. He limps on his right leg. Oh...no, left.

Ape said...

Erm Mr Wang, actually, if one cares to be more creative, there can be quite a few scenarios.

If you go to the coffeeshop regular kopi-o drinking Ah Pek, may be he'll say, "Aiyoh, I tell you har, maybe he potong jalan that time, trip on a rock and fell to his death, somewhere in the forest body still not found or maybe some CIA or KGB or whatever, had been watching and bundled him out of Singapore for further interrogation or maybe Ah Pek dunno la, just talking cock only."

Anonymous said...

I think he is still hiding in the detention centre. Maybe the other toilet.

The most dangerous place is the safest.

Anonymous said...

There is one huge difference between your friendly neighbourhood chicken rice seller and the minister and it's the former doesn't pay himself way beyond what he feels he should be so that he'll continue to give you well-cooked, unblemished chicken rice and not switch over to selling roti prata. In fact, many of them do it because it actually is their passion.

Anonymous said...

I was laughing when i read WKS comments on MAS selemat. He is treating us like idiots!! My 5 year daughter actually can have the same answer as him.. What the hell are we paying him millions for ? Heard he got his position due to his wife being related to the LEE family.... what a joke !!!

Chee Wai Lee said...

Thanks, Mr Wang, that was the funniest take so far on WKS's lacklustre comment on Mas Selamat.

Most other news organizations and national officials tend to have strong evidence about a matter before it is announced. Funny thing is, when I saw the headlines, I had not expected any details whatsoever. Glad to know WKS did not disappoint (me).

Anonymous said...

It's a standard tactic:

If it is good news, be the first to announce it. That way, you take all the credit.

If it is bad news, wait for people to figure it out themselves and hint at it only after the 'bad news' has become stale so the impact will be lessened.

Anonymous said...

Aiyoh...just like at the workplace lah...when people 'up there' screw up, it's always the subordinates' faults. But when they do well, the credit goes to them. Typical...

As long as you're the ikan bilis, that's the way your life will be.

Anonymous said...

ok, it is coming to 1 year since the escape, i tell you guys the truth but keep it to yourself cos i dont want to get into any trouble.

the truth is, MSK is hiding...
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somewhere in this earth, got it? dont tell people say i say one hor?
gum sia.

Anonymous said...

Mas Selamat? Who's that?

Anonymous said...

Actually it is a known fact already - Mas Selamat has fled...prison...from day 1.

Anonymous said...

You know whats the main different between the Chicken rice seller and WKS?

WKS knows more and says less. CRS knows little but says alot.

In actual fact, MAS is at WKS's house drinking kopi brewed with newater and eating mee siam with hum.

But he cannot tell us, otherwise we all go ask for free mee siam at his place how?
Later develop clutch mentality!

So tough to be a talent...

Jaunty Jabber said...

The plain answer should be "MSK is hiding, confirmed and of course he is hiding, is he isn't, why can't anyone find him?"

An American said...

Singapore's a city-state. So as far as fleeing criminals go, there is a geographical disadvantage for Singapore: it's easy to get lost in a city, and a city is also pretty small relative to the rest of the world. The REAL question we should be asking is: has Salamat been kept from making terrorist attacks? Will he continue to be kept from making terrorist attacks? So long as the attacks are prevented, police are doing their job.

Anonymous said...

Ghost:
The biggest irony is that most of the "dun know dun care" people have already forgotten about the ugly business. All they are accomplishing now is making people remember their incompetence. If I didn't know better I would suspect their pr machine is run by the opposition. Oh why wasn't the election held last year?

Anonymous said...

i was told that if a malaysia registered car, without an IU installed, went into CDB, it will be identified and charged accordingly at the custom in the same day. if it's true, how this small charge has taken priority over terrorism threat to the country...?