tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post4638851701924858263..comments2024-03-19T18:44:15.041+08:00Comments on Little Stories: The Very Wise are Happy, and the Stupid are very SadGilbert Koh aka Mr Wanghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01027678080233274309noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-27909778862733355882009-07-21T02:29:48.115+08:002009-07-21T02:29:48.115+08:00Hi Mr Wang,
This comes a bit late, but thanks for...Hi Mr Wang,<br /><br />This comes a bit late, but thanks for this post. I have been thinking about this issue myself, and have always agreed that our ultimate motivation/purpose is happiness.<br /><br />I think finding what would really make me/us happy is the difficult part. What I used to think would make me happy now seems much less important. A friend whom I was discussing this with commented that maybe ignorance is bliss when it comes to trying to find out what makes you happy. (but i disagree)<br /><br />I find your blog very insightful and applaud your attempts in replying all comments and in trying your best to pass on your insights. After reading all the comments for this post, I was very surprised to see that not once you have said "enough about this" or something to that effect, which I probably would have done.<br /><br />Just to end with a quick question, and maybe you have posted it before but i missed, what is it that makes you happy/will make you happy through your life?<br /><br />Regards,<br />Joe-fishhooks-https://www.blogger.com/profile/10500752217537160451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-50830522159391633222009-07-20T18:23:16.286+08:002009-07-20T18:23:16.286+08:00Happiness isn't something that everyone strive...Happiness isn't something that everyone strives towards.<br /><br />Perhaps for some it's the avoidance of unhappiness; some seek the inner peace and calm, which is not the same as happiness.<br /><br />I would not presume that everyone seeks happiness unless 'preferred state' equates to 'happiness'.<br /><br />May I suggest that we are in fact wired to feel pleasure when we achieve something we strive for. The pleasure or displeasure we feel, reinforces our belief depending on what we learn based on the outcome. I will not discuss the morality/ethics/correctness of our what we strive towards.<br /><br />As we grow more distant from our aims, we feel 'unhappier', and if we get closer to our goals, we feel 'happier'.<br /><br />Which means that 'happiness' is an emotion with functions as a natural indicator; it constantly aligns you towards where you prefer (or you think you prefer).<br /><br />Understand that while states of 'happiness' may be prolonged, it is never constant unless we have reached all our goals in life, which is highly improbable if not impossible.<br /><br />This impossible state may be somewhat akin to the Buddhist concept of Nirvana, but may I suggest that this is not the same.<br /><br />I have not discussed the concept of winning, because this suggests competition, which may not be everyone's cup of tea. <br /><br />Seek to understand the self instead, and act accordingly. Establish the balance, and perhaps you will be better positioned to live.Catnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-91224174209892307222009-07-15T15:40:07.064+08:002009-07-15T15:40:07.064+08:00Happiness is a choice.
Choice in this case is not...Happiness is a choice.<br /><br />Choice in this case is not whether you do something or you do not do something, nor is it whether you possess something, or you do not possess something.<br /><br />Choice is a matter of your perspective. Hence, Happiness is a matter of your perspective and your attitude to life.<br /><br />It's all in your head. Not what you do, possess, see. It's what you perceive.<br /><br />There is always time to smell the roses. You choose not to. You give the excuse that you are busy.Please Lahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-22083417234983665642009-07-15T07:48:28.401+08:002009-07-15T07:48:28.401+08:00Hi Mr Wang, I would like to challenge the followin...Hi Mr Wang, I would like to challenge the following opinions:<br /><br />(1) young students being subject to stress in schools<br /><br /> That is a sweeping statement, and simply not true. I teach in an average school, where for every one student who is stressed, at least four other students are not stressed. Usually, it's the teachers who are the most stressed and upset; that students don't show much interest in their coming exams, or that Sec 4 and Sec 5 students possess the Math ability of only Sec 1 standards.<br /><br /> And I been in a few average schools to testify that this is pretty common.<br /><br /><br />(2) young adults being subject to work stress<br /><br /> I think most young adults lack financial planning. Most young adults pile huge debt upon themselves within just a few years of working; expensive marriages, new car, home.<br /><br /> I think stress levels could be lowered if young adults didn't have so much debt hovering above their heads like a sword.<br /><br /> <br />(4) the elderly being too poorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-62176249801231001822009-07-15T07:22:29.712+08:002009-07-15T07:22:29.712+08:00hmmm...why does this post gather more replies than...hmmm...why does this post gather more replies than those posts that deal with things like...<br /><br />price hikes<br />recession<br />"asian values"<br />IR jobs?<br /><br />btw, a crowded MRT trip can be enjoyable, even if the guy next to you stinks to the max. SMS or call your boy/girlfriend, think of the next day's schedule, beat the next level on your PSP game etc etc. The sky's the limit. <br /><br />If the dominant thought in your mind is that the MRT trip totally sucks, that's it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-1130343549443971352009-07-14T23:13:26.284+08:002009-07-14T23:13:26.284+08:00haha you are right.
i must be blind :)haha you are right. <br /><br />i must be blind :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-37790925127162736982009-07-14T17:12:04.135+08:002009-07-14T17:12:04.135+08:00You are the one who said we are all trying to move...You are the one who said we are all trying to move towards happiness.<br /><br />I am saying that this endless seeking of happiness is a cause of unhappiness. I am not saying one should not aim to attain goals but one needs to realise that it is not you who find happiness but rather, it is happiness who finds you.<br /><br />Happiness is not a permanent state. There will always be unhappy times in between happy ones (plus the neutral ones, of course).<br /><br />The trick is to treat every event with a certain detachment. Understand that the state of mind is impermanent. Tempering happy and sad emotions is the key to true happiness.<br /><br />The tone of your post seem to suggest that everyone who is unhappy is stupid but as I have said, the situation is most likely temporary. It may also be very probable that people experience more unhappy times than happy ones in Singapore (or at least, that is how they feel). Many events are outside of one's control and one may experience a whole string of unfortunate events at the same time. Calling unhappy people stupid is just downright superficial. Perhaps a better term should be contentment/satisfaction rather than happiness, as in "How contented/satisfied are you with your life overall?" I do agree that some people are more easily satisfied (or laid-back or relaxed) than others. It has nothing to do with how good they are at moving towards happiness but how they shape their attitudes on life.<br /><br />Maybe you are trying to be controversial but I certainly don't agree with the insinuation that the unhappy must be stupid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-50294341818686202772009-07-14T13:05:55.950+08:002009-07-14T13:05:55.950+08:00Aha ... But I didn't. I merely said that a tin...Aha ... But I didn't. I merely said that a tiny minority of people are more skilled and more efficient at moving towards happiness. <br /><br />I didn't say anything about who they are; where they live; what careers they have etc etc.Gilbert Koh aka Mr Wanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027678080233274309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-42234185287657060472009-07-14T13:04:08.266+08:002009-07-14T13:04:08.266+08:00all the comments in this post sounds very much lik...all the comments in this post sounds very much like a discussion in a GP class :D<br /><br />diggoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-90045188302023541002009-07-14T12:22:59.146+08:002009-07-14T12:22:59.146+08:00Hi Mr Wang,
I havent checked back your reply for...Hi Mr Wang, <br /><br />I havent checked back your reply for a while. <br /><br />I thought in your article TITLE you are trying to convey the message that wise people are people who understood that being happy is the ultimate aim hence those who are happy are successful. <br /><br />which of course you confirmed in one of the earlier comments.<br /><br />Then your second use of the word wise, in equating a kind of material, conventional success as "wise" confused me. hence i asked if you were being ironic.<br /><br />Maybe i am being pedantic.<br /><br />Anyway i feel happy just commenting :)<br /><br />so take pride that you have made a difference in someone else's life.<br /><br /><br />Have a happy day!~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-24415157274321575302009-07-14T10:55:48.269+08:002009-07-14T10:55:48.269+08:00Always look forward to your new post every morning...Always look forward to your new post every morning, before I start work proper. It never fails to give me food for thought for the day or the week.<br /><br />The concept in this post is closely aligned with the buddhism teaching, of which I believed totally. Happiness is really a substainable state of mind, not "sudden or by accident". This reminds me of the books of Dalai Lama which stresses this repeatedly.<br /><br />Thanks Mr Wang for bringing this up, offering a refreshed outlook again.:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-28579643035891739682009-07-14T08:57:23.267+08:002009-07-14T08:57:23.267+08:00I think there are some confusion here, judging fro...I think there are some confusion here, judging from some of posts. Most of the readers do agree with WSS, though some may not realise it - that ultimately, we seek to achieve happiness. That goal should not be too contentious. What differs, among people as shown in the posts here, is how and what makes them happy.<br /><br />For the truly wise or worldly ones, simple pleasures like raising wholesome kids will make them happy. Simple meals of tofu and potato leaves will make them happy. In other words, they don't need much to be happy.<br /><br />OTOH, there are those who can only be truly happy if they have 3 lamboghinis, 4 ferraris and 5 mansions. Some women need a 5-carat diamond ring every birthday to feel happy. And they can be happy with such material wealth.<br /><br />And there are those who despite their billions, are very unhappy - broken home, broken marriages, etc.<br /><br />So, we all want to be happy. There are many routes to happiness. How you find happiness may be peculiar to yourself. The wise ones will realise this, or remind themselves constantly of this fact, and adjust their lives to live life in the fullest in the present, instead of the past, or the future.Thehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02941744057903049051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-63521114261005697152009-07-14T01:05:41.209+08:002009-07-14T01:05:41.209+08:00And I guess everyone must be happy (or somehow try...And I guess everyone must be happy (or somehow trying to reach the level of happiness by) contributing to the increasing entries in this entry!<br /><br />Amazing!Ser Minghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08989807476028991938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-33471646838691058932009-07-14T01:04:37.420+08:002009-07-14T01:04:37.420+08:00anon @ July 13, 2009 7:03 PM,
"Buddhism taug...anon @ July 13, 2009 7:03 PM,<br /><br /><i>"Buddhism taught us that life is suffering."</i><br /><br />That's the introduction and somehow you'd conveniently missed the main gist in Buddism --- that is to bring ourselves away from sufferings and moving towards happiness =)Ser Minghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08989807476028991938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-59123925035875699942009-07-14T00:24:08.800+08:002009-07-14T00:24:08.800+08:00Lol, a very perplexing subject and many appears co...Lol, a very perplexing subject and many appears confuse. Kudos to those who may have got the idea and others who tries to explain it. Many cannot see the wood for the trees it seems.<br /><br />Anon July 13, 2009 7:03 PM says:<br /><br />"I think it would be stupid to force yourself to think that you are happy when a certain event clearly makes you unhappy. Sure, there are things you can do to alleviate the unhappiness but that doesn't take away from the fact that the event is an unhappy one.<br /><br />This is especially so in a small country in Singapore where it is hard to escape from the maddening crowd. If you are someone who has to take the crowded MRT for 2 hours everyday, you can try to find ways to be positive and maybe even find some insight from it but it still doesn't change the fact that the ride is not very enjoyable."<br /><br />Let us say you are a choice on 2 paths, one will take you through a beautiful garden fresh and sweet, but this path will lead you to a horrible death. The other is muddy, rocky and has a powerful stench, but at the end of it is a beautiful cottage next to a lake and your loved one waiting for you. Which one will you take? You have a choice and obviously you will take the path that leads you to your love.<br /><br />The sickening 2 hour ride on the MRT is like that too. You take it because it leads you to your happiness. You don't take the MRT because it is leading you to your suffering. No one does something that makes them unhappy without a reason.<br /><br />Happiness is a state of the mind, at best temporary because no one can be happy every minute every day of his life. It is the seeking of happiness that motivates people and what they want for themselves, but that does not mean everyone can achieve it. In fact I doubt anyone can ever achieve it because if you do, there is no reason to continue living. Being the creatures that we are, once there is no desire, no motivation then life itself is meaningless. I do however, believe many people live reasonably happy lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-40227265832249078522009-07-14T00:14:36.450+08:002009-07-14T00:14:36.450+08:00"Happiness is not about reaching goals. It is...<i> "Happiness is not about reaching goals. It is about experiencing life while in pursuit of those goals. To that end, I disagree with you that happiness is an end-state that we are all trying to move to (I am not a Buddhist so I am not sure whether nirvana truly exists)." </i><br /><br /><br />I didn't say that happiness is an "end-state". You did.<br /><br />I also didn't say that our deepest underlying motivation SHOULD or should not be to move towards this or that.<br /><br />I merely said that our deepest underlying motivation IS to move towards happiness and away from suffering. <br /><br />And that this is related to everything we do .... whether we realise it or not.<br /><br />Go think about it. Why did you brush your teeth today? Or take a pee? Or eat breakfast? Or go to work? Or read my blog? Or take a walk? Or stroke your pet cat? Or chat with your friend? Or sell your shares? Or buy a book? Or scowled at someone you disliked? Or smiled at someone you liked?<br /><br />All these acts are ultimately motivated by your desire to move towards happiness or away from suffering, whether you realise it or not.<br /><br />Eg you brush your teeth because you have made it a habit. You made it a habit because you understood that it would prevent tooth decay. You wanted to avoid tooth decay because it's painful. Thus the deepest underlying motivation of brushing your teeth is still to move away from suffering.<br /><br />When you brushed your teeth this morning, you probably didn't think: "I am doing this to move away from suffering, towards happiness." But as usual it was still your deepest underlying motivation.<br /><br />It doesn't matter how simple or complicated your action is, see? For example, you could have an angry argument with your husband / wife / boyfriend / girlfriend, and it could be some very long, messy matter that you are arguing about. Your argument could be long enough to last two hours, or five hours, or ten days. Maybe you want to prove that the other person is wrong or unreasonable; maybe you want the other person to understand you better; maybe you want the other person to change his or her behaviour in certain ways. <br /><br />But in the end, if you trace it all down, the deepest underlying motivation is still what I said. Consciously or unconsciously, you believe that you would be happier, or would suffer less, <br /><br />if the other person admitted he was wrong; or if he understood you better; or if he agreed to behave in the way you want him to behave. <br /><br />So the deepest underlying motivation is the same. <br /><br /><br />-------------<br /><br />Consider your own explanation here:<br /><br /><i> "Happiness is not about reaching goals. It is about experiencing life while in pursuit of those goals." </i><br /><br />Then I might ask you - why should a person pursue those goals? <br /><br />You would say, "It is for experiencing life". <br /><br />Then I would ask you, "What is the purpose of experiencing life?". <br /><br />And you would say, "It is for the sake for happiness."<br /><br />There, thank you very much. Once again, the deepest underlying motivation is happiness.<br /><br />Happiness is the only thing that has no further underlying motivation. Happiness is itself the reason for wanting happiness.Gilbert Koh aka Mr Wanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027678080233274309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-28022496717263548502009-07-13T22:54:07.161+08:002009-07-13T22:54:07.161+08:00Keep an open heart, and try out this book. Free yo...Keep an open heart, and try out this book. Free your mind as a leaf on a flowing stream brings where forth...<br /><br />The Art of Happiness (a Handbook for Living) (Paperback)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-1407108361671438402009-07-13T22:24:43.821+08:002009-07-13T22:24:43.821+08:00spoken like a true lawyer :)spoken like a true lawyer :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-52075295278429844272009-07-13T21:12:19.203+08:002009-07-13T21:12:19.203+08:00In Singapore, only those with the money can afford...In Singapore, only those with the money can afford happiness. That, my friend, is a fact.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-15590659960647327092009-07-13T20:08:37.042+08:002009-07-13T20:08:37.042+08:00Mr Wang,
I'm not familiar with Buddhist teach...Mr Wang,<br /><br />I'm not familiar with Buddhist teachings, but I've always wondered whether it's the other way round?<br /><br />That 'The Happy Are Very Wise, and The Sad are Very Stupid'?<br /><br />After all, it's the Wise Ones who recognise right away that their ultimate goal in life is the pursuit of happiness. So they simply aim directly for whatever it is that brings them happiness.<br /><br />The Stupid Ones (or Foolish Ones) are those who get distracted. They end up searching for happiness on a very circuitous route (like the Korean student mentioned earlier), and end up thinking they must go through a long arduous journey of doing what makes them very unhappy in order to achieve happiness in some distant future.<br /><br />If things work out, and these Foolish Ones find happiness eventually then well and good. But sometimes the circuitous route takes them further and further away from their original goal of finding happiness...<br /><br />I think the problem is that we don't always know what makes us happy. We spend tremendous amounts of effort striving for what we THINK will make us happy, but sometimes we can be way off the mark.Faith Foolnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-65161418615529877192009-07-13T19:26:26.474+08:002009-07-13T19:26:26.474+08:00I brought up Buddhism because there will always be...I brought up Buddhism because there will always be unhappy (suffering) and happy (joy) situations. It is about how you deal with them that will bring you true happiness rather than thinking that happiness is something you can hold on to.<br /><br />Happiness is not about reaching goals. It is about experiencing life while in pursuit of those goals. To that end, I disagree with you that happiness is an end-state that we are all trying to move to (I am not a Buddhist so I am not sure whether nirvana truly exists).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-60643883831661416562009-07-13T19:10:32.192+08:002009-07-13T19:10:32.192+08:00Nope. I never read it. As for this statement of yo...Nope. I never read it. As for this statement of yours:<br /><br /><i>"Buddhism taught us that life is suffering" </i><br /><br />.... I should also add that Buddhism explained <i>why</i> life is suffering. And that the explanation has nothing to do with whether the MRT train is crowded or not. <br /><br />The Buddhist explanation, however, would go quite some way to support my blog title:<br /><br /><i>"The Very Wise are Happy, and the Stupid are very Sad". </i>Gilbert Koh aka Mr Wanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027678080233274309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-78264689776297284532009-07-13T19:07:07.697+08:002009-07-13T19:07:07.697+08:00Just an observation, many people seem to think tha...Just an observation, many people seem to think that happiness is a destination or something that can be attained. However, true happiness is a journey. During the journey, you learn about the ups and downs of life. It is like the yin and the yang. Without the downs, you will never appreciate the ups.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-34572085886042068462009-07-13T19:03:31.374+08:002009-07-13T19:03:31.374+08:00The problem, Mr Wang, is that we do not live in a ...The problem, Mr Wang, is that we do not live in a vacuum. Yes, we can make certain conscious choices to be happy. But there are also many many situations in which constraints are placed upon our lives.<br /><br />I think it would be stupid to force yourself to think that you are happy when a certain event clearly makes you unhappy. Sure, there are things you can do to alleviate the unhappiness but that doesn't take away from the fact that the event is an unhappy one.<br /><br />This is especially so in a small country in Singapore where it is hard to escape from the maddening crowd. If you are someone who has to take the crowded MRT for 2 hours everyday, you can try to find ways to be positive and maybe even find some insight from it but it still doesn't change the fact that the ride is not very enjoyable.<br /><br />To deny the existence of unhappiness (or the absence of happiness if you want) in every situation is, to me, a denial of reality and a sign of immaturity because someone who believes this will never empathise with others who are suffering. Buddhism taught us that life is suffering. Christianity tells us we are all sinners.<br /><br />The reason why I mention wealth is because during the periods of unhappiness, wealth may be a source of comfort. For example, you have a loved one who is very sick, if you are wealthy, at least you will have the means to alleviate his pain as much as possible or help him towards a quicker recovery.<br /><br />To say that those who are struggling to survive are stupid because they are unhappy is callous indeed. Those who are poor but can survive by living off the land or some other means can certainly afford to be laid-back but in crowded Singapore, do you see that many options?<br /><br />Of course, I am not advocating we all wallow in self-pity but too much happiness makes a person shallow. Remember the story of The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4405345292513335071.post-25168227819293705502009-07-13T18:39:21.534+08:002009-07-13T18:39:21.534+08:00The way I see it, it's actually very simple. L...The way I see it, it's actually very simple. Let me try to reframe the proposition for better clarity. I agree with MrWangSaysSo's assertions, but they need to be expanded to capture the essence of this discussion:<br /><br />(1) "success" means achieving your goals;<br /><br />(2) everyone has the same goal of happiness;<br /><br />(3) happiness is a subjective concept, its definition is personal to the individual, and it is a state of mind;<br /><br />(4) the pursuit of material wealth is ancillary, and irrelevant for the purposes of this discussion, to the goal of seeking happiness;<br /><br />(5) nevertheless, all other things being equal, it cannot be disputed that when it comes to material wealth, more is better than less.<br /><br />Therefore, everyone can be happy at all times, irrespective of one's level of material wealth, state of morality, or any other tangible barometers.<br /><br />Those of us who continue with the incessant pursuit of material wealth do so for various reasons. To some, being rich equates to happiness (in their view). To others, it is just a pragmatic way of living life. There are people who may not even have a reason for accumulating wealth - they have just been conditioned to do so since young and have never considered any other alternatives. However, it doesn't really matter. Having more or less money should not in itself result in one being happier or less happy (unless that person's sole definition of happiness = more money, which is rare and, if that were the case, truly unfortunate).<br /><br />Scroll through this entire page of comments and apply the above (no. (3) in particular), and you will find that this reconciles all the viewpoints and perspectives which have been put forward.<br /><br />My own definition of happiness is "being able to do the things I would like to do". I suppose that could be extended to also include "being able to accept the inability to do the things I am not able to, and the ability to know the difference" which could arguably be summarised as "content ment", although I prefer to keep the two concepts separate.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16384757160038985831noreply@blogger.com