A Small Kind of Joy

As some of you may know, Mr Wang was once a Deputy Public Prosecutor. Mr Wang wants to tell you that during his time as DPP, he never hanged anyone. Mr Wang handled many kinds of cases - sexual offences, corruption, family violence, drug consumption etc - but not murder and not drug trafficking.

Mr Wang, however, remembers one colleague who spent most of his time working on capital cases. In terms of actual numbers, there aren't that many capital cases, but each of them take a lot of preparation and analysis. So CY was always a busy man.

I noticed that CY had a certain habit. Once in a while, back from the courts in the evenings, he would close and lock his office door. Then, from inside, he would tape blank paper over the little glass panel on the door (so that no one could look in). This was a bit strange, but I never bothered to ask why he did it.

One evening, I had something to discuss with CY. I walked to his office. The door was closed and he had blocked out the glass panel. I didn't know what he was doing or how long he'd been inside, but I urgently needed to discuss my matter with him. So I raised my hand to knock.

Just then, another colleague, W, happened to walk by in the corridor. He shook his head and frowned. W said, "Don't disturb CY now."

I said, "I wonder what the hell he's doing inside?"

W gave me a strange look and said, "He's praying."

I said, "Huh?"

W said, "CY won his case today. So he needs ... well, you know, he needs to talk to God, lah."

Just then, the door opened and CY came out. He didn't say hi. He quickly walked past us. In that moment, I saw that his eyes were a little red and watery. It looked like CY, a big, grown man, had been crying, and he didn't want us to see.

That day I found out that CY was a Christian. And whenever he locked himself in his office, it meant that he had won a case. Someone had been sentenced to die. And so CY would pray.

For whose soul? My guess is - his own.

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In the past week, Singapore's bloggers have said so much about the execution of Amara Tochi. This time I myself have said nothing. What else can I say, that I have not already said before?

To me, every execution is a tragedy. But I do find a small kind of joy in the recent blogospheric debates. Some people care, after all. Who knows? Perhaps we are now taking our first baby steps towards a different kind of country. A different kind of Singapore - one with respect for human life.